YES, I LIED
Published in India writing project
THE TRAILER:
It was April 2021. I was staying in the “National Capital Territory of India”, far away from my home, approximately 800 km from Delhi. The whole country was giving a tough fight against the second wave of covid-19 pandemic. I had to continue my stay in the hostel due to unforeseen circumstances. However, I was not alone. I had my roommate to accompany me in that period of chaos. Our days started with the news highlights and ended with the same. Despite being a Math student, Numbers and Statistics had become our new horror during that period. It was 24th April. I remember opening my eyes and having an itchy throat. Some headlines flashed on my screen:
Delhi faces oxygen shortages as cases surge
Covid cases doubled in less than a month in Delhi
India adds a record of over 3 lakh COVID-19 cases and more than 2000 deaths in a day
“What a start of the day…” I thought. As usual, I left the bed with a gloomy face. As soon as I got up, my head felt like smashing against the wall. I sat again. A stream of thoughts came to my mind.
“Oh no…is it?”
“Am I?”
“What if?”
In the first half of the day, I tried to ignore every change that I was experiencing in my body. I kept on telling myself, “You are absolutely fine.” But the reality was different. My roommate had brought the “Spiky Virus” with her. She had symptoms for the past few days and I was the lone soldier protecting her from the storm. The picture was obvious. There was no need for a court or a jury to decide. My intuition was shouting out loud. By the evening, I had to accept the reality that the person who escaped the first wave despite staying away from home, was finally knocked down. Alas, I WAS COVID POSITIVE.
During the pandemic years, life became the most precious thing. There is a funny contemplation that used to pop up into my mind. While traveling in the plane the passengers are always taught- “VIMAAN ME OXYGEN KA DABAV KAM HONE PAR PEHLE APNA MASK PEHNE.” “(Whenever there is a low level of oxygen, wear your own mask first and then help others)”. I never thought this so deeply but the pandemic gave several interpretations of this sentence. It can either mean to be selfish and save oneself or to save oneself first in order to save others. My illness forced me to draw such parallels and I ended up isolating myself to protect my people.
Now that I was well aware, I had to make a shield from the enemies about to come. I was feeling like a warrior ready to fight in STAR WARS or GAME OF THRONES battle. I prepared my mind and arranged all the necessary medications for a week including the HERO OF THE COVID-19 ERA, “THE OXIMETER”. The tougher part of the story begins now.
Within two days, I started developing visible traits. It all began with a throat pain and headache which subsequently turned to an immense shoulder pain. My body became tired and fever had clutched me from within. Despite taking all the required medications, my fever rose by one degree every day. It started with 99 and rose to 103 degrees within four days. Handling myself was tough but what got tougher was managing my family. I continued to keep them away from the matter. I had to hide the reality by avoiding their calls. I started keeping our conversation limited to a few seconds.
In a typical Indian middle-class family, every member is so tightly knit that despite staying away from the home, you just cannot lie. The force that ensures this, is the mother. Indian Mothers know everything. They are “ANTARYAMI” (the Enlighted). They are lovable, caring and embedded with their Sixth Sense Antenna. My mother is the same. She is like a “Walking Telephone Booth”, you can’t escape her. She keeps track of every member of the family. You need to pick up her call every time and if you miss the call…? My friend, it’s a BLUNDER.
THE CLIMAX:
It was 8 pm on 29th April 2021. My enemy was at the peak. I had a 104-degree Celsius fever. My face was wrapped sidewise in a long scarf completely covering my ears. I was wearing a full-sleeved loose shirt and a long pajama. My hairs were shabby as if uncombed from five days. I was hiding myself deep inside the blanket. My head was banging like drums. My body was warm and I was feeling bitterly cold, tired and restless. Suddenly my phone buzzed. The android displayed the picture of my mom, wearing a red saree which I could barely see. But I clearly recognized the caller. I left the first call. An image of my innocent mother flashed in my mind. I sighed.
I knew she would call back again. She had already considered me a suspect due to my limited call timings in the past few days. Not answering the call was not an option. I decided to take the next call immediately. In the meantime, I started thinking about her questions and my answers to them. As expected, the phone buzzed again. This time I had to prepare myself and take the call. I took a deep breath and changed my choice to sound in my normal tone. I said-
“Hello Maa”
“Where were you, beta? You know I get worried.”
“Sorry ma, the phone was silent. “
“My lovely kid, you have been working so hard. You need to take good care of yourself. I am terrified to leave you alone. You don’t talk to me properly these days. You seem worried. Is everything fine? Are you hiding something from me?”
“No, Mumma, I am fine. You take care of Papa. I want to sleep early today. I am having a headache.”
“Ok, beta. I will call in the morning. You can take a rest now.”
Tears were rolling from my eyes. I had continuously lied to my mother about my deteriorating health. My sadness was not just for hiding the fact but also for the fear of life. I was scared. I was feeling sorry for my state. The last time I was afraid of losing my life was back in school, on my first Roller Coaster Ride in Kolkata. This time the fear was 100 times more. When you feel terrified, you can think to any extent. Just like the Hindi TV serials, I started crying under my pillow. “What if this was the last time, I heard her voice? How will my family know if something happens to me?” Today this seems amusing to me. But if I tell you frankly, that was the toughest day of my life. With every rolling tear, I kept saying to myself, “It is going to be all right. Don’t worry. I am here for you. I am here for you.”
THE ENDING:
My eyes opened with the alarm at 7 a.m. Congratulate me, I was alive with my fever toned down to 100 degrees. Although my shoulder pain persisted for another six months, I recovered within a few days. 29th April was the day of war. I defeated the “LORD VOLDEMORT” of my Harry Potter story. I told my family immediately after my recovery. But the guilt remained stagnant until I understood the realities of life.
Yes, I lied to my parents. Psychology says that lying allows one to manipulate a situation as per one’s need. This manipulation is not always bad. There is a term called “White Lie” which is resorted to protect the listener. I preferred this “Colored lie” to protect my family from the deadly virus.
In the land of Gandhi, truthfulness is inborn. You don’t need skilling lessons to be truthful. If you really want to inculcate it in your habit, you just need to answer every question asked by your parents. I grew up in this Indian habitat, where values are given more importance than your pocket. I always told my peers that I hate liars. But this incident changed my perspective. I learned that you cannot be perfect in every moment. Life will put you to challenges where you will have to resolve these dilemmas.
Sometimes a small event is sufficient to teach you the real meaning of living. Life is nothing about perfection, imperfection is the perfect way of true living.
PS: Inspired by a true incident.
