Start enjoying your own company
There are few things which you need to learn if you crave for a peaceful and a happy life. Life should not depend upon external agents like career, people, money, standard of living and other’s validation. You might have experienced hardships in life. You might have struggled aggressively. You might have experienced constant failures even after rigorous hard work.
But look around and see…your life is no different than others. Everyone is fighting their own battles. If you keep pondering over your bad luck, you continue to feed pessimism to your brain. If you keep thinking about fear and ignorance, you will get stuck in the vicious cycle of thoughts that will never let you come out.
Lessons from the childhood
In my school days when I used to come back home, I always observed the kids living along street side. I wondered the reason behind their happiness. They had to face the rain, storm, heat of the sun, harsh winds, extreme cold. Despite all this they continued to smile and play. Being a kid, I concluded that they don’t have the burden of studies and that’s why they are happy playing. Now I comprehend that the reason was something else.
They know how to live in their basic minimum resources. They don’t bother about their appearance and people’s opinion. They don’t long for external validation. They don’t know what is pleasure of having money and they are happy with what they have. They have a greater mental stability than we have. And more importantly they don’t feel that they are poor. To them happiness is completely an internal agent even if the whole world stands in front and defies it. They know to enjoy their company. That is why they have far more peaceful nights than we sometimes have.
Try to look the other side of the picture.
Loneliness is generally compared to grief, sadness and dullness. People who are loner are called freak at times. For others their busy life does not allow them to sit and meditate or understand themselves. When was the last time you sat alone and talked to yourself positively? Yes it is obvious that you might have got lonely to regret about all the burden of life or to enjoy the charms of social media but never to enjoy your own company.
Research says that people who spend time with themselves develop greater productivity, creativity, mental balance and understanding than the others. They are more empathetic in life. Several therapists like Amy Morin suggest this as a therapy to their clients. Even after the busy schedule they ask their clients to sit alone for a while.
But understanding oneself is not an easy task. People who are suffering from trauma, emotional breakdown, failures or mental stress might find it more aggravating to be alone in the beginning. This is just like an art which takes time. Once it is acquired it helps in tackling all the hustle of life. It helps in rejuvinating oneself just like the attainment of “nirvana”(relieving oneself from desire, pain and suffering). There is no well established technique for this but one can start with writing notes, self talk, mirror technique (motivating oneself by seeing in the mirror) or any other way which suites.
Try to enjoy your own blissful company without forcing anything that is not meant to happen today. Everything will fall in place slowly and eventually. Till then build yourself . Find peace and happiness . You will definitely see the change.
